The Big Deal of Father
We took a bit of a summer hiatus and are back! We will continue with stories of healing and fathers but wanted to move forward with more of Jim’s thoughts as he’s learned of God the Father’s heart towards us as His sons and daughters. In his own words….
I was talking with a young woman named Ira from Central Asia a few years ago. As we talked about her life, she assured me she was emotionally healthy and loved by her father. Her growing-up years were good. However, as the conversation progressed, I discovered her father abandoned her mother when she was a little girl. She grew up having only her mom to raise her. Ira loved her mother deeply and was devastated when she recently passed away. She experienced another deep sense of abandonment. Ira begrudgingly admitted she felt unloved and abandoned, first by her father and then again by her mother. Life hadn’t been so good after all.
Why are so many girls dealing with anorexia and bulimia? Why does a 37-year old man struggle with anxiety and depression? Why are so many people addicted to false comforts like alcohol, drugs, sexual immorality, and pornography? Why are so many young people succumbing to bullying and eventually to suicide? This list of questions goes on and on. And the factors and circumstances in every case can be vastly different and thousands of dollars have been spent on counselors throughout history. But one thing does remain consistent—the deep need for love and a sense of belonging to someone or something.
Why is this such a big deal — this need for love and belonging?
I discovered something while studying Jesus' life. God, in the early years of Jesus' ministry, establishes his Son’s identity. God speaks from heaven and tells Jesus, "You are my beloved son in whom I am well pleased." Very soon after, Satan inserts himself into the narrative and confronts Jesus in the wilderness and tests him regarding this sense of identity.
We read about this in Luke 4:3-13.
Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, left the Jordan and was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, where for forty days, he was tempted by the devil. He ate nothing during those days, and at the end of them, he was hungry.
The devil said to him, “If you are the Son of God, tell this stone to become bread.”
Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone.”
The devil led him up to a high place and showed him all the kingdoms of the world in an instant. And he said to him, “I will give you all their authority and splendor; it has been given to me, and I can give it to anyone I want to. If you worship me, it will all be yours.”
Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God and serve him only.”
The devil then led him to Jerusalem and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down from here. For it is also written:
“‘He will command his angels concerning you to guard you carefully; they will lift you up in their hands so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.'"
Jesus answered, “It is said: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’”
When the devil had finished all this tempting, he left him until an opportune time.
Right from the onset at the Garden of Eden, Satan has hated those whom God loves and is out to destroy our trust and allegiance to God. He will always wage all-out war to separate us from the Father's love. Thankfully, according to Romans 8:35-39, we are assured we can never be separated from the Father's love.
The word 'father' is powerful in any culture. Its obvious meaning of 'he who begets a child' is quite simple. We wouldn’t be here if we didn’t have a father. However, the word ‘papa,' one who feeds and supports or exercises paternal care over another, holds more profound meaning. Just looking on the internet, I found over 100 different ways to say father in other languages. In English, we say father, dad, daddy, or poppa. Some words convey respect, while others a sense of intimacy and caring.
“A dad is more than just the sum of his parts. He is the very soul of the family.”
A father’s presence is powerful. And just as equally, his absence is powerful. His words and his silence all play a dramatic role in the message we receive as children. Fathers give us our name and identity. They affirm our place in this world. A father should encourage, strengthen and teach us and help shape our future. And a father should protect us, provide for us and express their delight in our lives. What would our lives and emotional well-being be like today, if we’d had a father that said the words “you are my beloved son and I am well-pleased with you” and said them often? When an earthly father has done his job well, it’s an easy transition for the child to trust and obey his Heavenly Father.
“When a father speaks, may his children hear the love in his voice above all else.”
Psychologists tell us that a child up to ages of 6 - 8 believes what they are told is true, especially by their parents. By the age of 3, a child can know deep within their spirit and psyche whether they are wanted and valued. What chance do most of us have of living well if our parents came into parenthood damaged emotionally and wounded deeply from their own childhood? Again thankfully, there is a God of the universe who created us in His image and has a plan of redemption to re-parent us where needed. As we journey again on this road of Fatherheart stories, we will discover how this loving Heavenly Father creatively reparents us as we trust Him with our lives.
“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we could ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to HIM be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout ALL generations, for ever and ever.”