Heading Home
Author’s Note: For those of you just joining us, we have embarked on a true story of forgiveness and redemption. These are sequential posts, and if you are just getting started with our story, scroll back to the post dated July 28th entitled “A Road Worth Traveling”. They are not lengthy and you’ll catch up in no time.
On the long fourteen-hour plane ride home from Vancouver to Sydney, Jim continued to read the Bible. He wanted so much more. The plane cabin was dark, and passengers around him were trying to sleep. Being six feet tall and needing to stretch his legs, he maneuvered around the seat next to him and stepped into the aisle. As he walked up and down the dimly-lit plane, he thought, how do I serve God? I know next-to-nothing about Him. I've heard prayers recited, poems read, and we sing a lot of songs. But it seems so dry and churchy. IF this feeling inside me is real and knowing God is more than being inside a building several times a week, I need to find out what it is. It didn’t take him long to imagine this new-found thing with God could be more of a relationship and not merely religion.
I don't think I've ever had an actual role model who showed me what a growing relationship with God looks like. I’m at a bit of a loss as to what my next step is. He didn't feel at this point in his life, that he should return to the Russian church but knew he needed some form of a Christian community.
As Jim continued walking up and down the aisle and pondering his future, he remembered his cousin, Paul, once told him about a discipleship missionary training school he attended. Jim had already arranged to spend a few days with Paul in Sydney before driving to his mother's home in Orange, three hours west of Sydney. It might be an excellent opportunity to inquire about the school.
Squeezing his large frame over his sleeping seatmate's legs, he settled back into his seat for the remainder of the flight. Restless, Jim tried sleeping for a few hours before landing. He awoke upon hearing the stewardess's announcement they were descending into Sydney. Looking out the window, he could see the opera house and harbor bridge glistening in the sunshine. Like a beacon, they were a welcome home sign, and he tingled with excitement.
Sydney airport was bustling with international arrivals, and once Jim got through customs, his cousin, Paul, was waiting. They caught up on a bit of family news as Paul navigated his car through the congested roads of Sydney.
Arriving at Paul's house, his wife, Miriam, greeted them warmly. She brought out the ubiquitous tea and cookies, Russian families always have on hand. Jim especially loved Arnott's Monte Carlo's, with their soft creamy, raspberry-flavored center-it always reminded him of home. Trying not to concentrate on his weariness from the previous 14-hour flight, Jim dove into the conversation he'd been waiting to have.
"I had the most amazing and life-changing experience visiting my mum's side of the family in British Columbia." Hesitatingly, Jim continued, "Paul, you know I went off the deep end after Dad left and started drinking, gambling, and just doing foolish stuff."
“Yeah, we’d heard a thing or two about your wild days.”
"Well, I just got so sick of it. I couldn't stand the drinking and feeling lousy all the time. There was no point to it. And yes, the guilt of knowing how much pain I was causing my mum hovered over me like a huge dark storm cloud. I felt ready to burst-angry, hurt, searching, and lonely. I didn't know how to stop the vicious cycle I was on."
"So, what made you stop— I am assuming you did—and that is what was life-changing?" Paul asked as he rose to get water to refill their tea mugs. He sensed this could be a lengthy conversation.
Jim rushed ahead, "One night, I stayed back from partying, bored, and ended up talking for hours with Auntie Nina. She started talking about how concerned she was for her son-the the one I was partying with every night. She shared how heartbroken she was that he had left the church, and she did not know how to bring him back."
"As I said, we talked for hours, and I realized that she could just as easily been my mother talking about me. Yes, I've hurt Mum, but I think what stood out most to me was how miserable I was and how I needed something new. I hated what I was doing, and I was at a loss of how to change."
"Anyway, I ended up listening to her tell me how much God loved me, and He wanted to show me. It was overwhelming emotionally, and I had to get away from her and figure this out for myself. I went back to the bedroom and, Paul, all I knew to do was kneel beside the bed and pray. I didn't even know what to say really, but somehow words came pouring out, and the next thing I knew, I was asking God for forgiveness and crying like I hadn't for a very long time. It was a bit confusing but freeing at the same time."
"I guess I came away from my visit there knowing something had changed inside of me. I had peace I couldn't explain. I felt loved. And I began actually to believe God might have a plan for me."
By this time, Jim was squirming in his chair, excited over his latest experience, and wanting to quiz Paul on his relationship with God.
"Paul, you go to an Australian church which is, as you know, very different than our upbringing. We grew up in the church, but it seems you have found something deeper than what we experienced."
“What would you like to know?” Paul asked.
“Well, I don’t know a lot about the Bible, and I have a zillion questions about God. What's He like? I know nothing about prayer other than the recitations and programs we were involved with as children. I just have this gut feeling that there is something more to this. Didn't you do some program with a missions organization awhile back?"
“Yeah, I did. A few years ago, I came across an organization, “Youth With A Mission called YWAM for short. It's a youth missionary organization. They have training centers all over the world. I attended a program they offer called a Discipleship Training School. It helped me better understand what it was to be a disciple of Christ. I learned about the concept of hearing the voice of God, the character of God, and a type of prayer called intercession. The teachings brought a whole new dimension to my relationship with God."
Paul rose and brought more cookies, adding, "The nice thing is this program is only five months long—three months of lectures and two of outreach. You don't need to attend a Bible college to understand and serve God. It allows an alternative opportunity for young people who don't feel led to attend a four-year college to learn Biblical principles and serve God."
“To know God and make Him known.”
“Wow, that sounds right up my alley,” Jim responded enthusiastically. “Reading and studying is a chore for me. The shorter, the better.”
“And,” Paul grinned mischievously, “there just happens to be a mission center three hours from your home town.”
"Whoa, seriously? I want something like this. I didn't realize it was so close to home. What do I need to do?"
"Listen, I'll get you the address, and you can fill out a DTS application. The process takes some time, depending on the dates of the next school, but at least you can get started."
"Okay, I guess I'll take the first step and see what opportunity opens up."
Jim spent the next few days resting and visiting cousins living in Sydney before heading west to his hometown of Orange. His mind was chock-a-block full of thoughts of the future. Something inside him knew going to this school could be risky. He wasn't even sure how his family would react to him, leaving again. But he couldn’t ignore the sense that an invisible hand was moving him forward.
“People think that so often following your dream means you need to take a giant leap out into the unknown when, in fact the opposite is true. It’s all about small steps over time. ”